Summary

An actor smacks another actor right in the face, live on stage at the Academy Awards. 

People were quick to give their different opinions on what happened as if they were better and had the right to judge the situation.

But more than what anybody thinks, what matters is what we can take away from the drama that unfolded. Instead of being quick to judge, use this as a moment of introspection.

Ask yourself these 5 questions:

1. Do I take things personally, whether they were intentional or not?
2. How would I respond when someone hurt someone I love?
3. Am I in control of my emotions, or are my emotions in control of me?
4. Will my actions/reactions at this moment create unintended consequences?
5. How well can I take a punch and recover?

Instead of judging who’s right or wrong, do some personal reflection. In the end, it will make you a better person.

Full Transcript

Will Smith smacks Chris Rock. News at 11:00. Hey there, it’s your Coach Kevin Ward with your Fire Zone message of the day, and yes, that just happened at the Academy Awards in Hollywood this last weekend, Sunday night.

And so as I’m recording this Monday morning, it is like all hell just broke loose. Now, I haven’t checked what the news is saying about it, what people are saying. I’m sure every tabloid, every magazine, they’re going to have their take on it. They’re going to have their angle on it. We’re going to have comments. We’re going to have reactions and actions to all people, threats and all kinds of stuff. Who knows exactly what’s going to happen, what’s going to come out of this?

But I’m just like, what got me was seeing on social media some of the stupid posts that people are making, and it’s not whether they’re right or wrong. It’s like, did you really think that you posting your opinion was going to go well? Did you really think you’re going to convince everybody that your opinion is inspired and that their opinion doesn’t matter, or did you not expect a fight?

So I thought, you know what? I got to say something, and I really don’t care what other people think about what I have to say or my opinions. So I’m not going to share my opinions, because my opinions are irrelevant in this conversation. If I have an opinion on it that I feel like is relevant and it’ll make a difference, you know I will share it.

But on this one, I want to talk about Chris Rock versus Will Smith versus other people’s opinion. And what is the takeaway? What can we take away from something like this happening? Because it was dramatic. If you haven’t seen it, you can go on YouTube or any social media and you can see Chris Rock who was, I guess, emceeing, or he wasn’t emceeing, but I think he was getting ready to announce a winner of an Academy Award.

And he’s a comedian, so what’s he doing? He’s making jokes and making jokes, and he makes a joke about Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith that’s basically a joke about her hair. She apparently took it personal. I don’t know exactly what happened, but whatever happened, was immediately Will walks up on stage. He was already on the front row. He walks right up on stage, walks right up to Chris Rock and smacks him, apparently with an open-handed smack right on the face. Hard. It was audible. I think a lot of the instant reaction was, was that legit? Did that really happen, or was it fake? I don’t know. I don’t care. But the reaction of people has been really, really interesting.

So here’s what I’m going to say: nobody cares about your opinion. But how about this? How about instead of feeling like I need to voice my opinion and instead of thinking, putting me in a position and going like, oh, I’m the judge. Will Smith is right. Will Smith is wrong. Chris Rock handled it well. He didn’t handle it well. It’s Jada’s fault, or whatever. 

What’s crazy to me is most of the reaction was people coming in with their opinions of judgment, of putting themselves above the situation and going, look at me. My opinion is because I’m smarter and better, and I’m the judge of this whole situation.

And I’m going to tell you to stop being the judge. This is not your place in the universe to be the judge of everybody else’s actions. So some people are defending Will Smith. Some people are saying he’s an absolute loser. And I was his fan, and now I’m his enemy because that was assault. And some people are going, he stood up for his wife and other people, he didn’t stand up. His wife is really the problem, and he should get rid of her.

I’m just going to say, you have no clue. You don’t know what’s going on inside of his head. You don’t know what’s going on inside of Chris’s, Jada’s. You don’t know. But you have an opinion because you think your opinion matters. 

So I’m going to just say, here’s what I want to challenge you to do right now. Instead of using this as an opportunity to put yourself above the world and be the judge, how about use this as an opportunity for some personal reflection? To put yourself in a scenario and in that situation and go like, “Hey, if I was Chris Rock in that moment, what would I have done? If I was Will Smith at that moment, what would I have done? What would I have thought and why?”

So I just wrote down, and I was journaling on this, doing my own little gut check on this today. And I wrote down three questions because I immediately wanted to start judging. I immediately started wanting to take sides and go like, “Okay, here’s what I think happened.” And then I started reading other people’s talk, and I’m like, “Oh, I agree with that one. Disagree with that one. Oh, that one’s stupid. Oh that one’s cool. Oh, that’s a good thought.”

And I’m realizing, here I am thinking that I am the master to judge and evaluate everybody else. Why don’t I just ask some questions? So here are five questions I want you to ask yourself as we come out of this little event, this little drama that happened.

Question number one. Do I take things personally, whether they were meant, intended to be hurtful or personal or not? Now, I don’t know if it was intended to be personal or not. I have an opinion about it. My opinion doesn’t matter. But the question is when somebody says or does something that I take it personal, why am I taking it personal? Why am I taking this personal? Somebody took it personal. Why? What about me? Do I take things personally when they were not intended, or whether or not they were intended to be hurtful or personal?

Question number two. What would I do if someone attacked my wife or somebody that mattered to me in a way that hurt them? How would I respond? Was the hurt intentional or unintentional? Would that affect the way I responded? Would I respond immediately, or would I sit there and need to think about it for a week or a day or an hour? And if I did make an immediate response, would that be the right one?

Question number three. Am I in control of my emotions, or are my emotions in control of me? So you look at it and go like, okay, somebody has insulted … Presumably, we’ll say somebody insulted his wife. Did he lose control of his emotions and go do that? Or did he make an emotional decision based on someone like, that was unacceptable, that’s got to be stopped, I’m going to stop it, and here’s how I’m going to stop it. Was he in control of his emotions, or was his emotions in control of him? Again, I don’t care what your opinion is on that. My question is, what about you? When you get offended or when you get insulted or when you get hurt or when you’re in a situation like this and you feel like it’s either self-defense or to defend somebody that you care about, are you in control of your emotions, or do you allow your emotions to be in control of you?

Question number four. Will my actions in this moment or reactions in this moment create unintended consequences? Will my actions or reactions that are designed to solve a problem, are they going to actually solve it, or are they actually going to create more problems? Even if they do solve it, are the problems they create going to be greater than the problems that they solve?

And then question number five. How well can I take a punch and recover and keep right on going? 

Just a thought, Why don’t you invite yourself to stop being the judge and start looking at situations like this and say, “Hey, what can I learn? What can I learn for myself? What if I was in that situation?” And do some personal internal reflection, and I promise you on the other side of that, you’re going to be a better person.