Stop Closing and Start Leading

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Reason you get resistance from clients…is because you’re “CLOSING” on them. “ABC” (Always Be Closing) to me always implied “ALWAY BE PUSHY.”

“Closing” connotes using high pressure tactics to get the decision. People hate to be pressure from the outside.

LEADING is the art of inspiring or influencing someone to make a decision…for their reasons, not yours. Do you want to be pushy or Irresistible? Do you like it better when someone pressures you to do something or Inspires you to do something?

Leading is helping someone make a good decision that is in their best interest that leads them to feel gratitude, not regret. If you want to get better results, stop closing and start leading.


If you want to get yes without the BS and without the tension, without the pressure, then here is the secret. Stop closing.

Today, I want to talk about one of the most frustrating things for me as a new agent. It was getting people to say yes, and we were taught sales closing 101, so I was closing 102, and it was always ABC, right? Always Be Closing.

If you want to get more results, and if you want to get more yeses with less resistance, and you want people to say yes to you at the appointment. In other words, where you do a listing presentation and you’re getting to the end, and they’re going like, “Well, You know what? We need to think about it. We’re not sure yet. We got blah, blah, blah,” and they … Whatever their story is. I was taught that when that happens, what do you do? You close harder.

You be a hardcore closer. You just close on them, and close on them again, and close on them again, and close on them again, and just like a pile driver, like a jackhammer. Just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. They throw an objection, you’re going to handle it. You’re going to handle it, and then you just close, close, close, close like seven times. It’s what I was taught, close seven times.

What I discovered was is that all that my closing did was to make them even more resistant, and I was good. I was good at it, and people would relent. I got to where I could get people to relent and sign. I just never felt good about it, and it was like every time I went into a listing presentation, I felt like I was going to battle, and the problem was not that I was like going to do something that was hard. It was like it was me against them.

It was adversarial, and I hated that feeling because once I got the listing, then even when I talk to them in the future, it felt adversarial a lot of the times. Not every time, but a lot of the times, especially if it had been one where they had had been resistant and I had a really hard close on them. It was almost like they resented that they felt like I had pressured them into making the decision, and when they made the decision, their position was like, “All right. You talked us into it. You talked big. You told us you were good. Now, prove it to us.” It was almost like they upped the pressure on me to perform because you’re like, “Well, you … We’re giving you a chance.”

It was just like … I always felt like I was under the gun. And if you’ve felt that way, I’m going to tell you the reason that you felt that way is because closing by its very nature creates resistance, and when you’re done closing, even if you win, the pressure and the resistance a lot of times emotionally is still there, and that is just like you kissed the girl against her will. Underneath the tension, it’s still there, and I hated that.

It took me years to figure out that if you want to get yes without the BS and without the tension, without the pressure, then here is the secret. Stop closing and start leading. Stop closing for the listing, closing for the sale, and start leading clients, leading people to make a decision. When you change the process, you change the way you think about it, you change the way you approach it, everything changes.

I remember seeing movies like the movie Glengarry Glen Ross and the ABC, Always Be Closing, and be a hard closer. To me, ABC, Always Be Closing, really was interpreted Always Be Pushy. Right? You know what I’m talking about, right? The closing connotes this high-pressure tactics to corner people, to force people into making a decision, to force them to sign, and here’s the reality, and it’s probably true more today than it was in the past.

People do not like to be pressured. They resist and resent external pressure from somebody else trying to get them to make a decision, and it’s almost like the more you try to pressure me, the more likely I am to say no because I do not like to be pressured. I’m not saying that because I don’t like to be pressured, that pressuring people doesn’t work. What I’m saying is that’s almost universal that people don’t like to be pressured, and certainly, they don’t like to be pressured externally. In other words, they don’t want somebody else trying to convince them or tell them what to do, but what if you start leading?

See, here’s the way I look at leading. Leading to me is the art of inspiring people to want to follow you. That’s what real leadership is. I’m not talking about dictatorial leadership. I’m not talking about the commander. I’m talking about real leadership that is built on influence. It is built on inspiration. It is the art of inspiring people, of influencing someone to make a decision for their reasons, not for yours, to lead them to make a decision that they want to make and that they make gladly, not that they make underdressed, not that they make where they feel like they have no choice, but where they feel like they have total control. They have total choice and, “Yeah, I want to do it.” It is being irresistible instead of being pushy.

You see, if you can make your presentation, if you can learn to master the art of leading people to say yes in a way that is irresistible that they want to say yes to you, that they don’t want to tell you no, then not only is it more effective, it’s also a lot more fun and you get a lot less of what I call decision remorse. We call it buyer’s remorse, seller’s remorse where they make a decision under pressure, “Okay. We’ll sign. All right. You better perform now because we’re signing. We’re giving you a chance,” and it’s like now, you’re under the gun instead of making them go like, “Okay. Where do we sign? We’re ready. What do we need to do?” where they want you to be their agent, they want to work with you. That’s the way you do it.

Are you going to pressure people? Are you going to inspire people? A lot of it is just to change the mindset. The first step is just to change the mindset because when you change the mindset, you change the approach, you change the outcome. Leading people is helping somebody make a good decision that’s in their best interest for their reason that at the end, it leads them to feel gratitude, not regret. It leads them to feel grateful for you and grateful to you rather than feeling like they were pressured by you, and so they have almost like this resistant approach like, “Okay. We’re giving you the shot. Now go. You got to prove to us you’re worth it.” You don’t want to work underneath that pressure.

Now, I don’t have any problem with somebody talking about closing as a word and all that kind of stuff. It’s just that word carries a lot of energy in it. A lot of times, they’re negative energy that nobody likes to be closed on, but people like to be inspired, and so when you change the way you talk about it from closing the deal to inspiring the hire because when you inspire the hire, people don’t like to be closed on, but they love to be inspired.

Now, the best way to help you do that if you have not yet got a copy of my book, number one bestselling book, The Book of Yes, get a copy of that. The link is down below, so you can get a copy of The Book of Yes. The copy is free. You just pay shipping and handling. Tell me where to send it, and we’ll send you a free copy of The Book of Yes, and the scripts in that book are designed through my own experiences of selling, listing and selling hundreds of homes, and by the way, taking thousands of noes in the process of learning how to get yes without the BS, but also, learning how to lead and inspire people to make them want to say yes to you rather than making them say yes to you because they felt like they had no choice. It will make your business more effective, your results better, and the journey a whole lot more fun.

If you like the video, make sure you give it a thumbs up. If you have questions or other thoughts, tell me about your experiences, about trying to make it, you be a hard closer, or learning how to inspire people to want to work with you using attraction and irresistibleness rather than being pushy and won’t take no for an answer. What’s been your experience? What questions do you have? If you haven’t subscribed to the channel yet and this has been helpful for you, subscribe so you get notices of my next videos, and play to win, and always expect yes.

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