Summary

How do you bounce back from a traumatic past and win in your business and your life?

Answer: Commitment + Association. 

Motivation is not enough because this is fleeting. Instead, you want to be committed.

It starts with a decision… a commitment to having the discipline to take action towards achieving your goals. Discipline forces you to take action, until you see results.

Surround yourself with the right people who are going to help you stay true to your commitments. 

And when you take care of all areas of your life (your health, relationships, etc.), your business will take off because you’re able to show up as the best version of you for your clients. 

One of my top coaching members (and good friend), Sergio Nazzaro, has made $1M in only 8 months. But he’s no smarter or better than anyone else. He simply does the work and hangs out with the right people.

Trust the process, trust your coach, and do the work.

Full Transcript

So this is a guy who’s become a great friend of mine. We spent a lot of time together. We’re building some dreams together now, some things that he’s doing to change the world. It’s just been an honor to be a part of your journey, my friend. So ladies and gentlemen, let’s give it up, a huge YESMasters boom for Mr. Sergio Nazzaro. YESMasters, 1, 2, 3.

Boom.

1, 2, 3.

Boom.

1, 2, 3.

Boom.

My brother. [inaudible 00:00:39].

12 months ago, my wife was six months pregnant, and it’s December, and I had been chasing this goal. I was trying to be number one in my brokerage. I was like, I had the eye on the prize, rookie of the year. I wanted to be number one in my brokerage and then wanted to become part owner at my brokerage. That was my trajectory that I put my mind that Kevin had allowed me to kind of dream through. And I was chasing this dream really relentlessly. I knew what the fuck I was doing. I was going for it and nobody was going to get in the way, not even my wife.

And December comes around and we get into this fight, and I’m not talking like a fight where we’re just bickering at each other. I’m talking to the point where she’s pregnant, we’re screaming at each other, and I grab her not to hit her. Never hit a woman in my life. I don’t ever plan to hit a woman in my life, but I grabbed her to just calm her down. And in that moment, I scared myself. I was like, “Fuck, I can’t believe that I just did that.” I had made these commitments to go after my goals and yet my life was falling apart. I was a professional success and a personal failure. And that’s tough. That’s really tough to stomach. And I was just sitting there being like, how the fuck did we get… How did I allow this to happen?

And I showed up to Kevin’s event for the very first time. I had just got into real estate and I was so timid. I was super timid, and I was timid because I’d just gotten out of the military. I had just struggled with PTSD and depression and a drug and alcohol addiction. I had just started to come out of that and rewrite my story, right? And I had somebody bring me to this event and I was just sitting here being like, all right, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but this guy seems like he knows what he’s doing, so I’m going to follow it.

And so for the first 12 months, or sorry, for the first seven months before I met Kevin, I didn’t sell a single home. And then I went to his event in October, and then things just took off, 31 transactions in my first year, 331 in GCI. It was awesome. And my second year rolls around and there’s this imposter syndrome. Anybody feel like you do something once and all of a sudden, you’re like, “I don’t know if I can do that shit again?” Right? You feel me on that? You do it once, you do it one time and then you have this question. It’s like, “Damn, can I do that again?” And that’s the story. That’s the doubt that starts to creep in. That’s the story that we start to tell ourselves about all the reasons why we can’t do it, all the reasons why we can’t do it.

And so I go into my second year and I’m like, “All right, I don’t want to be a flash in the pan. I’m going to do the same shit that I did the first year,” except this time I have a different perspective. So I’m going, I’m going, I’m going, April hits and I have a heart attack in the hospital, and I’m sitting there being like, come face to face with God, man. I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t really know how to handle this. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to bounce back, and yet I was committed to the process. I just knew that if I could just get back into it, I could start to at least put things in motion. Right?

Second year, I think it was 37 transactions, 17 million. Right? All of them came in the second half of the year after I had to wrap my mind around what was going on. Also, that year, me and my wife called off our wedding because we’re just fighting and we’re fighting and we’re fighting and we can’t do it, and we’re fighting because I’m not living up to everything that I’m saying I’m supposed to do in my relationship. She knows it. And she’s looking at me dead in the face and she’s challenging me. She’s like, “If you’re going to say you’re going to fucking do it, then do it, but if you’re not, then don’t. And if you’re not going to do it, then I’m out.” And so we had to get in a couple’s therapy. It was the best decision we’ve ever made. Best decision we’ve ever made.

The next year, 52 homes. The next year, 52 homes. Last year, 52 homes. Three years in a row, 30 million, 37 million, 36 million in volume. All of that’s great. But then we get to the point that I just told you where my wife is looking at me and I’m chasing down this dream of making all this money, and I’ve made a shit ton of cash, and I just want you to know none of it matters without the people that are the most important to you. None of it matters without your health, none of it matters if you don’t believe in yourself, none of it matters if you become a douchebag because you think that you’re really good at this and you’re actually fucking up the rest of your life. None of it matters, and yet it all matters. I’m really good at keeping commitments to myself in my business. Where I failed was keeping commitments to everybody else around me.

That same month when my wife told me, when we’re in that fight, she looked at me and she goes, “I don’t think you’re going to be a good dad.” That’s not what you want to hear from your wife. If you haven’t heard that, you probably don’t want to hear that. In the same week, my parents started to say things like, “We just don’t recognize you anymore. You’re in the room, but you’re not in the room. You’re here for the holidays, but you’re on your phone.” And I’ve removed myself. And I share all of this with you because you’re going to leave this room and you’re going to make these commitments to yourself, and none of them mean shit if you mess up the rest of your life because the seven domains, all of it comes together. All of it comes together.

And this is what’s going to happen because I see it happen. I’ve had a chance to coach at YESMasters. I was a coach here for a while, and now, I coach at my brokerage. The same shit happens all the time. We make these commitments in this room because the energy is high. It becomes a dick measuring contest, because everybody’s in here like, “I’m going to make a million dollars. I’m going to make a million dollars. I’m going to quit smoking,” whatever. Then you go home and you realize that nobody else is with you and you’re by yourself, and you’re going to bed, you put your head on the pillow, and it’s just you. That’s it. And you close your eyes and your wife’s not even there anymore. You’re by yourself.

And so now, you’re come face to face with your commitments because here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go home and you’re going to feel motivated. Does anybody feel motivated since you’ve been here? Put your hands up. Right? Great. Motivation is going to leave. So now, you have your commitments and you have this thing that motivation is going to be fleeting. So now, you’re left with what? You’re left with a decision. I want you to realize this. Motivation is backed by an emotional response, which means every time you want to use motivation, you have to dig into the emotional tanks that you have inside your body to pull from it to motivate yourself. And sometimes, those tanks run low. Those tanks run low because some parts of your life take up other space. You’ve heard Kevin talking about the struggles in his relationship. That has impacted his business. There’s no doubt about it. He knows that. The relationships with my wife, you don’t think those impacted my business and the way I show up? They do.

And so that motivation is fleeting, but here’s the best part about it. There’s this thing called discipline, and discipline’s not emotional. You can pull on it from any moment in your life. And when you have discipline and association, that becomes a fucking nuclear power plant for yourself. You associate yourself with the right people in the right room, you create some discipline in your life, you have those two come together at that intersection, you’re literally unstoppable, unstoppable. But discipline’s hard because now you gotta do what you say you’re going to do when nobody else is looking. You got to look at yourself in the mirror and be like, “Did I do what I said I was going to do when nobody else was looking? Do I have integrity?” And that part’s hard, and yet it’s not.

It starts with one simple decision. What do I want to do at this moment right now? How am I going to go through all of the seven domains and make a discipline decision in each one of those that I can execute on every single day for the rest of your life, not Monday through Friday, not just during the week. I’m talking seven days of fucking week, every single day. And you’re like, “Oh, what about days off?” Sorry, there are no days off.

You don’t want to take care of your body, you don’t want to have faith, you don’t want to be in control of your feelings, you do none of that, how do you show up for the people that you love the most? You show up as a shell of yourself. So you tell me you’re going to do all this work during the week to show up for the best for your clients, and then the weekend’s going to roll around and the people that you say you love the most that you want to be a part of, you’re not going to do the work then, and then they get a shell of you.

This is the game that you’re playing. You’re not playing real estate. You’re not. And discipline is simply just a decision because this is what happens. Discipline forces you to take action, small actions. Those small actions compound every single day, day after day, day after day, until you get micro wins. Those micro wins day after day start to get results. Those results turn into motivation, and then you can fucking capture that lightning in a bottle because you’ve created the motivation out of the action you’ve taken, and you can run with it for the rest of your life because you’re in control of creating it simply by taking action every single day. And I’m not talking about stepping up to the plate and hitting a home run. Just hit singles. Just get on base. If you don’t like baseball, look up what the fuck I’m talking about. All right? It’s just about getting on base. It’s about running at 70%. Right? You can hold that pace every single day for the rest of your life.

And here’s what’s beautiful. Any one of your fuck-ups is a chance for you to fix it. If you fucked it up that bad, you can also fix it. How do I know? Because this last year after my wife said that to me, I made a decision. I came back to the basics, came back to making those decisions day in and day out. I got too far above myself thinking that these things no longer… This was just the basics. I’m past this. Bullshit, bull fucking shit.

You get back to the basics and you work through that and you keep going because you’re going to get to a spot in your career where you’re going to do this. All of you, you’re going to do this, and some of you can feel this. I know you can. You’re going to do this, and then you’re going to start to dismiss it because you think it’s so simple. And all the stuff that got you to where you’re at, you’re going to dismiss it because you’re like, “Oh, that can’t be it. There’s got to be something else.” And there’s not. There’s literally nothing else. That’s it. Day in, day out for the rest of your life, as long as you’re in real estate, this is it, I promise you. This is not the only way, but this is a way that works and I know it.

I made the decision after my wife said that to me, and this year, I focused not only on our relationship, I focused on trying to become a good dad. I focused on trying to become a good son, a good friend, a good husband. I focused on my body. I focused on my connection with myself. I was no longer looking outward toward anybody else because I knew that all the answers I needed were right here. I just had to listen. And it’s amazing what happens when all of the areas of your life get on fire. Your business will take off because you can’t show up fully when your brain is thinking about the fuck-ups that you have in your relationship. You can’t show up fully when you realize you’re not taking care of your body. You can’t show up fully when it’s all about work and no fun. You can show up as the best version of you for your clients simply by taking care of every other thing in your life. I promise you, if you take care of all of those other domains, your business will take off.

Kevin told you, made a million dollars in 24 months, made a million dollars in eight months. Right? And I’m no smarter or better-looking or taller than any of you. I just simply do the work and I surround myself with the right people, and thank God, I have the right fucking coach. So for all of you in the room that you’re like, you’re going to walk out of here and you’re afraid that you’re going to lose the momentum and you’re afraid that your commitments are either not big enough or that you’re not going to stay true to them, surround yourself with the right people, the power of association, and then break it down to one day at a time and the simplest that possible. What are the things that you can do every single day without question that you know when you put your head on your pillow, you’ve done all the work possible. That’s the commitment. Commit to discipline, and I promise you, you will… Kevin told me this, and I can’t believe it. I feel like it happens every 24 months. I look back on my life and I’m like, “Damn, I don’t even know who I was then,” and it’s happened three times. I can’t believe what has happened in my life and where I’m at now and what I’m getting ready to do, but it’s just a testament to doing the work and then trusting the process and your coach.