Convincing Selling vs Conviction Selling

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Almost every real estate agent I’ve ever met wants more business. Yet a large percentage of agents cringe at the thought of “selling”…of coming across as too sales-y or being pushy…you get the point, right?Convincing comes from the outside…conviction comes from inside of you and is based on a deeply held belief in the value you have to offer.

Convincing is trying to get them to believe something. Conviction is communicating something you believe. And when it comes from your heart, it’s always more powerful and believable that what simply comes from your head.

You can memorize and master a script…but what makes is powerful, is the genuine conviction behind the words you speak.

In this interview with my friend and successful entrepreneur, Mel Abraham, he explains that there are basically three ingredients to selling with CONVICTION:

  1. Belief in the value you have to offer.
  2. The ability to communicate that conviction.
  3. Over-deliver with excellent service and value.

Full Transcript

Kevin: Hi there. It’s Kevin Ward with YESMasters Real Estate Success Training helping you get more “yes’s” and more successes in your business and in your life. Today, I got a special treat for you and a special honor for me to be sitting here with one of my good friends and mentor, Mel Abraham, who’s the founder and creator of Business Breakthrough Academy. The reason I asked Mel to come on with me is because I heard you talk about the concept and the difference between convincing selling and conviction selling. I just heard him say this that conviction will trump convincing anytime when it comes to sales and I want you to give us also a little bit about that concept, how you came up with that and a little bit about your take on conviction versus convincing.
Mel: Great. Thanks, Kevin, for asking me this. It’s an interesting concept. Let me just talk about how it came about. I originally was going out to speak at an event and the promoter of the event came to me and said, “Hey Mel, we want our sales team here when you speak,” and I said, “For what?” They said, “Because we want to close these people.” I mean how many times you hear this whole thing always be closing, always be closing, always be closing.
Kevin: Right. Traditional sales talk.
Mel: Yeah, absolutely. I looked at him and I said, “Tell them to stay home,” and he goes, “What do you mean?” I said, “We don’t close people. I am who I am. I have what I have. I have a certain expertise, a certain product, a certain service and it will fit for those in the audience it fits for and they will buy and that’s it.”
Kevin: So this sales team, they were not coming in to sell their stuff, they’re coming to sell your stuff?
Mel: Yeah, absolutely.
Kevin: They’re professional closers.
Mel: Yeah, just like the hitman. They were bringing the hired guns in …
Kevin: You set them up, we’ll take them down.
Mel: Yeah. Yeah, we’ll take them down. The challenge with that and this is where you think of the evolution of sales is the original sales, if you want to call it sales 101, was this concept of techniques and strategies and if I’m clever enough with these tactics where there’s the double binder and all kinds of different things and the test close, if I’m clever enough I can get the sale.
Kevin: Right, right.
Mel: Then we graduated from that to what we call relationship selling, which is if they like me enough then I’ll get the sale. That worked but we then moved from that perspective into what I call consultative selling and that’s if I understand them enough, if I ask enough questions then I will get the sale. If you look at all three of those, it comes from the sales side; it’s all a matter of convincing them that what you have is what they need.
Kevin: Right.
Mel: That’s a really difficult place. If you think about the metaphor of … I remember back in high school days when a girl decided that she was going to break up with me and here I am trying to convince her why she shouldn’t break up with me and why we’re right and we should stay together; versus being comfortable with what it is you offer, you skills, your talents, your expertise, the product, the service, whatever it is and being comfortable with them saying, “Here’s what it is. Here’s what I have. Here’s what it can do in your life. Here’s how I can change your life. Here’s how I can change your family’s life and here’s the transformation and value that’s created by it,” and then simply sitting back and saying, “If I explain it well enough and it fits you, then come along on a journey with me.”
Kevin: Yeah.
Mel: That’s where I come up with this concept of convictions, having conviction in what it is you have, having the belief in what it is you offer your expertise, putting it out there without any kind of tactics or anything, but just simply putting it out there. Here’s who I am. Here’s what we have. Those that resonate with you, those that need it, those that see the value, they’re going to come along for the journey.
Kevin: Yeah. So when it’s something that … it starts out with your belief about the value of what you’re delivering.
Mel: Absolutely.
Kevin: If you’ve got something of value to help someone else and if the value that you have can actually deliver something that will help them and they see that, believe that, there’s always going to be that element of obviously relationship asking questions because that’s how you’re connecting, but you’re not trying to technique them …
Mel: Exactly.
Kevin: You’re not trying to push them into a corner where they’re like, “OK. OK. I’ll say yes. I’ll sign.”
Mel: Yeah, absolutely. Because when you do that, one you have, that’s when you end up with refunds; that’s when you end up with people that have remorse, buyer remorse; you have people that are trying to now explain to their wife or their husband when they get home, “I don’t know what happened, I just put it on the credit card, honey.”
Kevin: “Oh honey, I’ll call them to cancel. Yeah, we’ll get our money back. Yeah.”
Mel: Yeah. I think society itself, when you look at society, especially today, is starved for transparency, authenticity and a standard of integrity that seems to be lacking in corporate America, in businesses and in society in general. I think that when you come at it and say, “Here’s who I am,” I’m going to open up the robe and say, “Here’s who I am. Here’s what I can offer. Here’s the guarantees I offer and I’m doing it from a place of integrity.” People are attracted to that and you talk about it, especially in the kind of business of business that you’re in, a lot of it is referral-base. It is relationships, but the difference is that when you position yourself that way and your successful in doing that, instead of someone saying, “Well I need someone to help me out with this in the real estate field,” and they say, “Well here’s three people that you might talk to.” They’re going to look at you and go, “Kevin’s the only guy you need to go to,” and that’s when you turn around and say, “Instead of thinking of referrals, you’re thinking of positioning and I position myself in a space where I’m the only one that’s being referred out and that’s key.”
Kevin: I think about as a relationship, you guys, the real estate agent, is that when you try to convince somebody, I mean how many of you like to just be convinced, like convince me and people making argument or [inaudible 00:06:31]. When your conviction is like your belief is so strong in what you’re doing and what you have to offer, there’s an attraction, a pull rather than a push because whenever you’re trying to convince us they end up automatically, “They’re trying to convince me of something that I’m like stop, stop.” Our resistance, the walls automatically go up but when the conviction is there, the passion is there then there’s almost this attractiveness, there’s a pull.
Mel: Exactly and exactly that that the concept of marketing, marketing sales and relationships is a push strategy where you’re basically trying to get behind them and push them in the door and then slam the door before they can get out.
Kevin: It’s repelling.
Mel: It is.
Kevin: It actually repels …
Mel: It really is repelling and the truth is you may get some sales but you’re not going to build the relationships at a deep level that are going to be long-lasting. I’ve got relationships in my business where they’re sending me work back from the early ’90s and they don’t go anywhere else because of how I’ve treated them and the kind of respect and integrity. When you start to look at positioning and conviction selling and being real with them, then now that’s kind of, I know the Pipe Piper wasn’t a good character but it’s kind of like the Pipe Piper, you’re going, “I’m over here,” and they’re just saying, “All right,” like the little ducklings following their mom for the thing. At the same time, you know that what you’re offering them, what you’re giving to them is real and that’s real value, so the conviction isn’t fake conviction, it’s real. More times than I can count where I’ve looked at someone said, “It’s not right for you,” or “It’s not right for you now,” and I’m OK to come from a place of saying, “If I’m looking at it from my pocketbook only, then I’m going to try to convince everyone to buy.”
Kevin: Right. Just I want the commission. I want the commission.
Mel: Exactly. Versus if I’m looking at it and saying, “This is probably not right for you or it’s not right for you at the right time right now. There’ll be something better.” I think that in the long run you may lose that opportunity, but in the long run the goodwill, the relationship you built, the trust you built will come back to you in time.
Kevin: Yeah, absolutely. One of the distinctions, because I don’t want anybody to think that what we’re saying is don’t try to convince people just have conviction. Conviction means if you need my help, I’m the one to help you. If you need a service, I can provide it. It doesn’t mean be wimpy or being like “I don’t want to put myself out there because I don’t want people to feel like I’m being pushy.” No, the whole point of conviction of you got to put yourself out there because you know the value you have to deliver. It’s just that once you put it out there let that be the compelling. It’s like conviction is compelling.
Mel: It is compelling.
Kevin: And convincing is repelling.
Mel: Yeah.
Kevin: So the one’s compelling it pulls; one’s repelling it actually causes them to push you away. If you’re convincing them it’s repelling; it you’re based from a conviction perspective it’s compelling.
Mel: I actually think also it comes from a place of power. More so, because if you know that you’re trying to convince someone, your unconscious mind, your body language is going to be your tale and so I’m sitting back on, “Hmmm… This isn’t right for them but I need the money so I’m going to try and convince them.” If the person is not astute enough they get caught in that, but your body is a tell. When you’re coming from a place of conviction and belief and integrity, you can stand tall, you can be flat footed, you’re not on your heels and you can say, “You know what, this deal is a good deal for you. This is the right deal for you based on what I know and I will fight for this deal for you and we’ll see what we can do.” Now you can come from a place of integrity, not from a place of “I just got to make a sale”.
Kevin: Right.
Mel: I think that even from a conviction standpoint, it’s actually a more powerful position to come from because you come from a place of knowing and just a fact of what is.
Kevin: Yeah and I’ve done that with you. I’ve been into your event and I invested in your mastermind and there was no pressure. It was just that you had the conviction and I’m just like, “Yeah, this guy’s got it and I want to learn more of what he’s got.” I appreciate so much, one impact you made in my life and I’m sharing this with some people that mean a whole lot to me and I’m trying to make a difference in their life and with my convictions of helping them win in their life.
Mel: Thank you. I think that’s why we ended up becoming good friends is the realization that you come from the same mold as me. You come from a place of being real, being truthful and coming from a place of saying, “Here’s my standards, I won’t compromise. I want to serve and I want to serve at a high level and I want to serve with sincerity, authenticity. I don’t want to serve, with sincerity and authenticity and I don’t want to serve from the perspective of pleasing someone or taking money from someone. I simply want that in the process; make sure that I make their lives better with some of the things that I know. I had a fortune conversation with another student of mine who looked at me today and she said, “My life has dynamically changed because of some of the things that you’ve taught me.” Take the tuition, the fees, all that stuff out of it that means for me than anything else.
Kevin: Yeah, yeah.
Mel: You know me, I’m not necessarily doing it for any other reason other than to see people create lives that are legacy lives, that are meaningful, fulfilling and something that they can live fully and come to the end of that year and go, ” Damn it. It was a hell of a ride.
Kevin: Yeah, absolutely. Mel, thank you so much. Again, I’m honor to have you as friend, a mentor and I appreciate your share of the day. Guys, here’s a thing, develop the passion and the belief of the value you have to add up to be able to build your skills, build your skills, build your strategies, all of that matters and there’s a huge difference. The bottom line is when you come from here, from the heart, you’re going to always be more powerful. So again, it’s Kevin Ward with YESMasters. You’re with Mel Abraham; just reminding you guys to embrace your life, engage opportunity and always expect YES!

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